Protech Yourself Against the ill Effects of Anger
A famous philosopher once wrote, “When I was 10 years of age, my father died. When he was taking his last breaths, he called me and said – whenever you want to get angry at someone or want to take a revenge, do whatever you feel like but just wait for 24 hours. What to talk of 24 hours, even after waiting for 24 minutes, I changed my mind and so I never got angry on anyone throughout my life.”
Yes, this is interesting but true. Anger is a game of mind and not really a need of the situation most of the times. Invariably it happens that when we get angry, we repent later. In 99 percent situations, a better solution comes to our mind when we are at peace. Let us then understand the dynamics of anger a little more deeply.
The first thing which needs our attention is that we pay a lot of cost whenever we allow ourselves getting angry. The cost may be in terms of a strain in a relationship, a lost business or employment opportunity, or simply loss of energy and general health. If a person has a habit of getting angry, the biggest loss in the long term is having a negative image which leads to lack of interpersonal influence.
Another aspect of anger is, as it is believed, anger leads to misfortune. If we logically look at it, anger becomes a barrier in the path of good fortune. An angry person does not receive the same level of cooperation and support as a person who has a cool temperament. On the whole, it is always advisable to control one’s anger rather than expressing it.
Around 80% people we meet in our life are such that if we are positive with them, they respond positively. Only the degree of understanding and cooperation may be different. 10 % people are such who help us in being positive. They have a strongly positive aura and they radiate peace and happiness. Around 10% people may be such that they would easily get angry or do something negative even if we have a positive intention towards them.
The above classification suggests that at least with around 90 % people it is very easy to communicate. By maintaining our own cool, we can continue having positive and meaningful interactions with these people. We have to put our patience to test with only 10 percent people.
Before communicating to such people, we have to first understand as to where we are placed in this classification in the eyes of others. In other words, where we place ourselves on the continuum of maturity. If we are among the top 10 percent or somewhere near that, chances are very less that we would ever get entangled with a negative minded or angry person. Even if there is a situation, we would find a way to influence the other person positively. The more we deviate from the top ten percent, greater are the chances of getting caught up in a negative situation. So, next time we feel like complaining about a negative person, we should first do something to move ourselves on the continuum of maturity.
We should also realize that the negative minded people help us in developing our inner strength. They work as a laboratory where we can learn to develop our patience. The more patience and will power we have, greater would be our command on the events of our life.
There is one more dimension of anger. Some people direct their anger towards themselves. They punish themselves in various ways. At times they may take a decision which makes them lose what they already have. They get angry at others just to keep a distance. Such people create an aura of misunderstanding around themselves. However, directing anger towards oneself is as negative as expressing it towards others. In both the cases, the self-control is missing.
A few principles generally help us in developing greater self-control and leading ourselves towards better fortune:
We should always take a pause of a few seconds before reacting.
We should develop good control over the thoughts coming in our sub-conscious mind. Most of the negativity and anger is buried in the sob-conscious mind and it springs up whenever the conscious mind is put at rest.
We should develop enough inner power to take care of the key of our life. We should not allow others to create disturbances in our life by making us angry. In other words, we should make our mind like a solid Earth (instead of making it like a lake) which remains undisturbed when someone throws a stone on it.
We should feel genuinely concerned for all. There is no alternative to this. Only those people enjoy a positive image and a good influencing power who genuinely feel concerned for others.
The positive part of anger is that it generates energy. We can make positive use of anger by converting it into determination to work for the achievement of a positive goal. This can be done by putting total control over such factors which eat up this energy. In order to convert anger into determination we should put a stop on its negative expression. We should not make a complaint against a person, we should not blame or shout or use any kind of violence – neither against others nor against ourselves. Whatever extra energy is generated, we should use it for conscious planning and making extra efforts for implementing these plans.
Its our own will power which supports us in achieving our goals and which protects us against whatever negative is around us. Others influence us and play any role in our life only when we give them more importance than our will power. Anger and will power are opposite to each other. We get angry because on one hand we have some animal instincts. But we also have will power (which we need to further sharpen) which gives us some divine qualities. We should always choose the later. After all, the most important thing which the father of the famous philosopher thought of doing, when he was on his deathbed, was protecting his child against the ill effects of anger.