Theme of the week

Issue XXXIV(25.09.2011)

Strong Family Makes it Easy

After a busy day in office, tired and frustrated Ajay reached home late in the evening. A fruitless meeting with an important foreign client, an argument with the boss, and a poor performance review. All on the same day! Ajay was in a bad mood indeed and was looking for a relaxed and peaceful night. Ajay’s wife Meena, who also works for an MNC, didn’t have a good day either. She had failed to achieve targets for the year and was denied promotion. She was also looking for a calm and easy night. Meena was expecting Ajay to help her in the household affairs for the evening.
Sanju, Ajay’s son had his cricket match tomorrow and was tired too after a long practice session during the day. He wanted to call it a day early and get in his bed quickly so that he could relax and do well the next day.
Each one of them had their own reason of stress and anxiety. A small, independent and self-sufficient family of just three members was finding it difficult to coup with the situation. Ajay was wishing his elder brother and bhabhi were around today to help him defuse his stress. Elder brother’s words have always done wonders for Ajay.
Meena was wondering if she was with her mother who could just comb her hair with her fingers and soothe her tensions away. Her mother’s fingers in Meena’s hair, was the best medicine whenever Meena was under any stress.
Sanju was not concerned about whatever had happened to his parents during the day. He only wanted his dinner early and a relaxing deep sleep.
We often see such situations in modern families. While debate on pros and cons of nuclear families is still on, we see that even nuclear families are gradually loosening its strength. Husband-wife and their children, live under one roof but as individuals, isolated from successes and pains of each other. They have their own priorities, their own pressures, and their own ways of enjoying the life.
Purpose of this discussion here is not to support or oppose nuclear families, as we understand that living in nuclear family many-a-times, is not by choice. There are many reasons that compel one to branch out from their big families. What is more important for discussion here is; what we can or should do to live our lives more happily whether in a joint family or a nuclear family.
One of the mantra for this is, spending some quality time together, everyday. This brings strength to the relations and makes family ready to face day-to-day challenges as well as bigger crisis situations. This quality time can be sharing one meal together, or spending some time together in the early morning, may be doing some worship activity.
Family members, as a routine, should help each other in their day-to-day activities and responsibilities. Husband may try his hands in kitchen, while the lady may at times deal with the bank and utility bills. Helping children in their assignments and projects is but necessary.
Family members should be aware of failures and successes of each other. Share your problem with family, no matter how simple or severe the problem is. A simple looking problem may become a reason for stress for you and ultimately for the family. So share the problem and jointly find a remedy. But do not blame each other and maintain privacy.
Celebrating smallest success will be a good idea. Special occasions and events should be planned jointly and responsibility for its successful execution should be shared.
A family that lives together can effectively manage day-to-day stressors and not only makes home a lovely place for everyone, but also develops tools necessary for the family to come together in a crisis situation and manage it efficiently.