Question: Many times we plan a lot but soon things start taking a different shape. Ideas of growth seem to be theory while the practical life is totally different.
Answer: The implementation of any idea of growth is not linear. When we take a few steps ahead, we come back one or two steps after some time or we take a pause. The path of growth and success is wavy. However, if you draw a line in the middle of this path, it goes upwards or forward. After some struggle and many learnings, there comes a point when there is no downfall and one can have a steady growth. When a rocket crosses the gravitational force, it does not come back. Similarly, when we cross our emotional blocks or other limitations, we do not look back.
Question: What should I do when a friend or someone I am concerned about is under high stress or is experiencing depression.
Answer: Generally, people suffer from depression when they feel totally helpless and bound by the circumstances, not allowed to change the situations which are bothering them. You can help him in the following ways:
- First of all you will have to create some psychological space around this person. You may have to tolerate some of his anger or incoherent communication and still convey your acceptance to his companionship. Continue to convey your faith in him.
- Find out something which he or she loves doing and support him in actually doing it.
- Think of a meaningful and fulfilling activity and try to involve him in that. A meaningful activity gives tremendous sense of self worth and removes depression.
- Help him in finding out a creative solution of his actual problem. At times, people are stuck up between two choices when both are wrong. In most of cases where a problem is continued, some third alternative is more fruitful.
- When you notice a little change, you can help in bringing some changes in his lifestyle to make some kind of growth part of day to day life. Even when there is no problem, stagnation also leads to stress because man, by nature, is meant to grow in some respect or the other.
Question : Why do good people suffer?
Ans: First of all, every human being has some amount of goodness and some weaknesses at the same time. Those who have lot of goodness are generally perceived by others as being good. The following may be the reasons for their sufferings:
Goodness and wisdom are two different things. In order to solve the problems of life, we need both.
A good person may be careless in some areas of life causing troubles for himself. For instance, some good people do not care for their health or get angry at other people though their intentions are very good. Some good people do not bother much for generating wealth which their family needs. Such people have to suffer in spite of their innate good nature.
A person may have done some undesirable act in the past which may be causing sufferings in the present.
Negative thoughts and feelings invariably lead to sufferings. A good person, if not very wise, may have been hurt by others which generate negative feelings within him. Such feelings may lead to a negative behaviour and ultimately to a negative situation which further hurts him. Thus, gradually, it becomes a vicious circle.