Author : Dr. Anita Mathur
Accepting a problem takes us close to solutions. Most of the times we struggle with a problem with some such thoughts:
Why at all I’m not getting a good job, when I’m qualified.
Why my boss/sub-ordinates/----- does not understand my viewpoint.
Someone gets angry very quickly and I have to tolerate it every time.
Someone does not want to see me getting success.
By making such complaints outside or continuously thinking about them, we simply deny the truth. Somewhere this behavior is accompanied by a wish that a third person (not me) should take the charge of bringing change which is not possible.
To accept is an art. It does not mean that we should not take any step to solve the problem. Rather it is the opposite. As long as we make a complaint we postpone the idea of taking any initiative ourselves. However, when we totally accept whatever is the situation, we can then actually see what can be done to solve it.
By accepting the situation totally we can take total charge to change it. To accept is a big responsibility. It means that we do not make a complaint and we do not expect any change from others. Changes may come as a natural consequence of whatever initiatives we take.
In interpersonal relations also it helps when we totally accept the thoughts, feelings and attitude of the other person.
Generally we tend to accept or approve the behavior of those who are closely related to us or when someone is otherwise favoring us. However when the same behavior is seen in others we give it a different meaning. The reasons for such an acceptance can be many. We a person is closely related to us, it satisfies our ego if we belief that everything is good in him/her. We are also spiritually connected with our parents, children, brothers and sisters and therefore, naturally also accept them more easily. However when there is no such connection, we easily become critical for other people.
The important thing to understand here is that as long as we are just critical for someone, it doesn’t help us. Once we simply accept whatever the other person is doing, we can make an honest attempt to understand others and, if needed, to change our own behavior which could possibly generate a different response in others.
To simply accept whatever is happening around us is the first step to allow ourselves total freedom to act wisely and to establish a good alignment with different types of situations of life.